My dear friend John Worsley drew this portrait of me, entitled “I don’t have the heart for this”, out of the blue yesterday.

I haven’t done a self portrait in a long time, or updated this blog with any regularity, or done about a million things that I ought to be doing.
Here’s what I’ve been doing instead:

+ Designing/developing a website for a favorite photographer of mine.

+ Spending time in the studio for my album, which will hopefully see a fall or winter release, god willing.

+ Mixing the album I made in april for the RPM challenge (yes kids, a full length bedroom recording to tide you over until the aforementioned studio album is ready later this year).

+ Anxiously awaiting the release of a dear friend’s album (you’ll know soon enough who it is!) , which I did cover art for, a collaboration with the aforementioned Mr. Worsley.

+ Working on a remix of a song on said friend’s upcoming album.

+ Lettering a comic for a major release. (for someone really awesome!!)

+ Moving into my boyfriend’s house, officially. Also, painting, installing lighting, all the stuff that needs to get done before I move stuff in.

+ Keeping Fuck Yeah Cello updated.

+ Practicing with my band once a week, and livestreaming the practice, & playing out once a week at The Hotel Utah.

+ & Oh yeah, having a full time job.

Needless to say, I’ll be posting some really rad stuff on here when I get a second to breathe, but it’s unlikely that will be for a couple weeks.
But soon, you will all see the fruits of my labor.

<3<3<3

I am at table 34! Come say hi! Buy my new mini!
Also, I have an awesome big surprise on the horizon that you will see either at the fest, or on here shortly thereafter.

<3!

Gabrielle Bouliane was a videographer and poet, who I met nearly a decade ago, back when I was very much involved in Slam Poetry.
She recently lost her battle with cancer.
She was a visionary, a friend, and a force of nature.
I wish I had known her better.

I did this illustration of her because most of the pictures I’ve been seeing of her in other posts of this sort didn’t really capture her the way I knew her.
To me, Gabrielle will always be in bunny ears–or a cowboy hat.
She is peering at me from behind a camera, or through a LiveJournal icon.
She is capturing something–when everyone else is too busy watching.

I am posting this poem of hers, because I think all of you should read it, whether you knew her or not.

When you hear that I have died, think of this.

Think of cool nights breezes while you walk to meet your friends for a beer on a Thursday. Think of waking up in flannel sheets on a snowy morning and kissing someone you love. Think of hung-over diner breakfasts and the best cup of coffee in the world. Think of the sound of tires on seamed highways while you travel, think of French kissing and leather jackets and push-up bras and bourbon, think of the joy of hard work with friends. Then think of me.

Not sad, not the melancholy solitude of empty skies, but the full days and crowded bars and signed contracts, a smile too big for my face, remember I said I stay busy enough to fit three lives into one. When you hear that I have died, know that I want laughter, and dancing, real dancing, to music that makes you move without thinking, you’re wearing boots and jeans and a great t-shirt and wondering if the girl at the edge thinks you’re cute. And you motherfuckers had best DANCE, none of this bullshit rock-nod hands-in-the-pockets shoegazer nonsense, no, make an ass out of yourself, feel your hips, kick off the high heels and sway on the shoulder of a stranger, when I die, you’d better be laughing your ass off on sidewalks, eating deliciously unhealthy food, drinking shots and tipping your bartender well no matter how much money you make.

And Adam has to read the poem he wrote, and Laura, and June, and Scott Carpenter has to play “Don’t Go Away, Chloe”, no fuck that, every musician I’ve ever made out with or videotaped or road-tripped with has to play, so drink some coffee, baby, it’s gonna be a long night. When you hear that I have died, the best thing you can do is to get laid that night with a comfortable stranger, use my story to get their sympathy, and when you kiss them for the first time, think of me then.

When you hear that I have died, and you will, remember your best revenge is to live well, take risks, save up money and chase your perfect happiness. Beat the system and learn to make your art really support you, craft into something your audience can’t live without. Then make the world an even slightly better place — stop throwing your cigarettes on the ground, vote in the next election, graffiti your life on the eyes of the hungry.

Then just do me one last favor. Please. Love something. Anything. Start with yourself, but find passion in everything, from an apple pie to a novel, make a family, get a degree, walk whatever path is yours with your chin up and feet planted firmly. Have the best stories to tell in the old folk’s home, about lifelong friendships and epic love affairs, about the time you lost everything and yet found yourself happier than when you began.. and remember that time we got in SO much trouble…

Poets.. remember. This is the story that never ends. When one of us leaves, another walks through the door. The pages turn, the sun keeps rising. All you can do in the meanwhile.. is to speak for yourself. Raise your voice high, tell your story, join hands against the dark and sing our souls to the sky. Know the best in me comes from the best in you, that as you tell your story, you will be telling mine, and our lives will be linked together forever, and everyone who hears you will become a part of the change we make.

So when you hear that I have died..
just ….live.

–Gabrielle Bouliane

This is her last performance in public:

Please feel free to re-post any of the contents of this post anywhere on the internet, with attribution.
I feel like these last words of hers should be carried to as many people as possible.

Also, if anybody wants the high-res version of my drawing, drop me an e-mail.
If enough people are interested, I can maybe make some prints.

Rest in peace, Gabrielle.
And to the rest of you, bunny up!

I got a new camera.
Not just any camera, but the Pentax K-x, in RED.

I’ll be doing a proper Cute Tech review of it once I get a chance to shoot with it for a little while.

Mostly I just wanted to tell you how excited I am.

Photos for days, people. Photos for days.

I am in a modified My Little Pony show.
If you’re around Portland, please come see it?

Thursday, December 3, 6-10pm
Sequential Art Gallery + Studio
328 NW Broadway #113 • PDX OR 97209

For Sequential Art Gallery’s second annual group show, artists from a range of backgrounds have submitted My Little Ponies (and a few very special “fakies”) that have been painted, carved, sculpted, bejeweled, and–well, you’ll see…

With a predominantly female bill of artists, both local and out-of-state, we are excited to bring you these reinterpretations of the popular childhood toy. Artists have had complete freedom in how they modify their pony because this show has absolutely no affiliation with the Hasbro corporation. And yes, we have been accepting “NSFW” submissions. Welcome, fans of all that is cute and twisted!

Super thanks to Kaebel for asking me to be in this show!
I hope some of you can make it out!

Oh my god!

After months and months of drawing and coding, This Is Star has a new look!

I’ve been doing a lot of code and design on other people’s websites for the past couple months, and it occurred to me that a new look on my own site was way overdue.
The previous design had been standing strong for just over 2 years, and I knew it was more than time for a change.

The new site has some neat features that I’ll share with you now.

Custom Category Headers

I designed the site to skin the headers of various posts, by category.
This way, when I make an audio post, it calls a header illustration with a cello bow and a microphone.
I have similar headers for several different types of posts, and plan on adding more as my collection of post topics grows.

I was inspired by the manner in which sites like Tumblr autoformat your posts by type, and I wanted to do something similar on my site, which is wordpress based.
Changing the header background dynamically by category seemed like the simplest way for me to get this feel without going overboard.

Fun with JavaScript

Seeing as I’ve grown a lot as a developer in the time that has gone by since I did my last site design, I thought I should show off some of my newer skills.
One of those skills is using JavaScript, which has become much more simple and dynamic in recent years thanks to the rise of libraries like JQuery and YUI.

I used JQuery on my site to make a few neat effects that I’ll show you here:

If you click on one of the “Advertise Here” buttons on the right hand side, you’ll notice that the information on purchasing ad space on the site expands below the ads.
This allows me to display the information without adding an unnecessary extra page, or allowing the user to navigate away from the main content.

If you hover over my logo on the top left, you’ll see that it animates slightly.
The lovely logo is, of course, designed by the equally lovely Nubby Twiglet.

You’ll also notice that all my archive pages and categories will expand using a collapsing menu.
This is powered by Collapsing Archives, and Collapsing Categories plugins, respectively.

Dynamic Footer

A web design trend I’ve seen popping up a whole lot lately is putting lots of dynamic content for social networking in your footer.
I really like the look of these big footers anchoring everyone’s pages, so I decided to do my own version, integrating design elements from my category headers, as well as the site header.

I hope all of you like the new site design as much as I do!

I got back from burning man a week ago & I’ve barely had the time or the headspace to think about anything other than my to-do list.
One of those things I haven’t had time to do is unload my camera, so in the meantime, here is a picture from Burning Man of me and Ramon in the Photoboof!

I have a lot of stuff going on with my band(s) and illustration and webdesign and filmmaking and the podcast–

I’m hoping I’ll have proper posts about all these things coming up later this week, but I wanted to pop in and let you know that I made it back from the desert alive.

More tomorrow.

The website has some clever propaganda:

Block out the chill and lock in the comfort with fun faux fur details and stylish color combinations. Your fashion-sense doesn’t need to hibernate for the winter. Wear Crocs™ Nadia and look good in comfort all year long.

Without our help, some uneducated person might actually think these shoes are a good idea.
Please — If you, or someone you love, has a pair of these, please get them help before it’s too late.

My friend Mothra made a movie called Douglas. She wrote a script, raised 30 grand, and made a feature film.

The film was in edit when the main hard drive storing the footage died.
After sending the drive out to the best data recovery system on the planet, it was determined that the movie is lost for good.

All that remains are some random scraps of fooage, and this trailer:

Douglas Trailer from Harry Pray IV on Vimeo.

As someone who has lost footage before for trival projects, I can only imagine losing something like a feature film. In the world we live in today, digital media makes our lives easier all the time…but it’s so temporary. When your work is stored in zeros and ones, it could easily dissappear forever.

So here’s the PSA portion of the post:

Back up your shit! Put it on multiple drives! I can’t stress it enough, hard drives are so cheap these days!
This happens to all of us. Technology fails sometimes. It’s easy to tell yourself you’ll back it up later…I do it all the time. Seriously, make it a point to do it weekly, and you’ll be glad you did.

Mothra is looking to re-shoot her movie, and I’m sure she’ll take any dontions or kind words over at their myspace page.

She’s a totally awesome writer/director & I’m sure she’ll bounce back from this to reshoot the movie even better than the first time.

Extras:
Douglas Flickr account
Music video for Seventeen Lashes by Reverend Glasseye, directed by Mothra.

I finally got around to buying a Wacom Cintiq.

Now I can draw directly on the surface of the monitor!

I’ll be giving it a full review on here after the weekend. Suffice to say, I’ll be making alot more art.
Yaaay!

Well, alot of things…

But I have more in common with him today than I did yesterday.

Can you guys guess?

I imagine I was one of many girls like me in high school in the ninties.
I was a perfect stereotype, driving to a poetry slam with my fresh license, blasting Under The Pink and chain-smoking cloves.

I imagine the girl I was then would be beside herself to get a chance to meet Tori Amos, let alone actually collaborate on a piece of artwork with her.

Some things don’t change.

OMG Dudes! I’m in this book! gcfhgv,k!!!!

I’m working with the excellent Chris Arrant!
Other creators in the book include:

David Mack, Colleen Doran, Derek McCulloch, Lea Hernandez, Neil Kleid, Leah Moore, John Reppion, Hope Larson, Pia Guerra, Russel Lissau, John Bivens, Richard Pace, Dean Trippe, and Jason Horn.

I am extremely excited.
I’ll be having a beverage at Isotope tonight if anyone in SF wants to celebrate.

Also, I am looking for models for this book. I can use all types of people, but I’m particularly in need of a girl in her 20s. If you’re interested, please drop me a note!

xo